Danny I could not stop listening to your podcast about your Dad… oh my gosh it is all so unreal. Loved the structure of this but especially can I just HUG SANDY!!! What a sweet and kind soul, my heart breaks when I hear those stories. 🙏❤️ You are a lucky person to have such a sweet Mom and she is such a trooper to be going through this for all of us listeners. Thank you a forever fan in Minnesota… Kathy

This whole thing feels like a brain dump conversation between the hosts and the mom. Random stories here and there that bounce between timeframes followed by an exhaustive unpacking of how it emotionally affected those intimately involved. This podcast has no clear timeline or beginning, middle and end. Just a scattered array of mildly entertaining stories with entirely too much commentary and the expectation that we can empathize based on nothing but loose storytelling.

Season 1 was so open and vulnerable, and at no point was there anything “fancy”. Not so Season 2 which is basically a vanity project — a deconstructed one-man show complete with lame vocal effects of doors opening — of the original storytellers’ improv coach (whom they clearly revere). It’s unlistenable, sadly.

I love both the How to Destroy and Toughen Up. You guys are great tellers of your histories. Thank you. I hope to see your stories one day in movies.

So first, I love both seasons of the podcast. I like the interregnum more for toughen up. Buuuuut Guys, he just did 10 minutes of the story and 40 minutes of interregnum. Seriously? Please give us at least 20-30 minutes. I will still listen to the 40 minutes after but this is agonizing.

Interesting stories but the stuttering affectation is becoming intolerable.

I like the Toughen Up podcast but can we cut the interregnum portion and speed up the story telling.

You have helped me feel more peace about my own crazy family of origin issues. Thanks for your bravery. Great podcast. Extremely well produced.

I loved HTDE but I came here to say how much I’m enjoying Toughen Up. Came here to counter the haters. The writing is superb.

A very personal and comprehensive look at one family’s struggle with a narcissistic husband and father. This man had to win at all costs. He was an awful neighbor & disruptive member of his community. He was an absurdly extreme penny pincher. The stories about him are told with honesty and humor. The hosts and special guests are very genuine, and this serious story is both sad and hilarious. There is a basic empathy in this podcast for a man with severe personality disorders. I learned a lot and laughed along the way. Very unique and appealing podcast. Love it!!

He’s hiding all emotions that would have made this interesting behind disgusting mouth effects that just sound like a kid spitting.

I absolutely loved season one. It was so beautiful and vulnerable. It felt like we were hearing friends and family members talking about stories from their past like we were in their living room. Season two is rehearsed and uptight. I couldn’t get through more than 10 minutes and I just had to stop listening. Instead of feeling like a guest in the family living room I’m feeling like I’m listening to an overproduced radio show. There’s no vulnerability, no humor, no risk-taking. I’m not interested. If you can re-create the feel of season one, I’ll be back. Season 1 is 5 stars season 2 is 0.

Thank you so much for the incredibly vulnerable first season- for those of us with a narcissistic parent, it is an incredible gift. Danny and Darren should pick another topic to explore together, as their bond and relationship are great listening. Season two- Oof. This is a big miss. The overly dramatic presentation with the ‘book on tape’ voice is obnoxious. I tried a few times and had to turn it off after five minutes. It’s the exact opposite of why I enjoyed the first season so much.

The original season was very good. Very entertaining and worth a listen. This latest season is not even tolerable. I couldn’t even get through the first episode. The narrator tells the story as if it’s a parody. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke. It’s odd and not at all entertaining.

Season 1 was compelling, thoughtful, and a great listen. Season 2 might have a good story inside of it, but it’s truly unlistenable with the narrator’s constant sounds effects.

Season 1 was fantastic. Loved it. Sadly I couldn’t get through the first episode of season 2. The narrators voice is cringe and the sounds he makes are awful. Bye bye HTDE! It’s been fun. Sad to see it go.

The original show with Darren & Danny was pretty good. Authentic, occasionally hard-hitting and relatively raw. This new season with Stephen Kearnin is overly produced and rehearsed, performative, unfunny, bland and self-important, as if the writer/ performer truly thinks he’s an absolute genius and we all should be riveted by him. When the show seems like it can’t get more annoying, Kearnin starts making terrible sound effects with his mouth, seeming to think he’s incredibly clever and everyone else will agree. I doubt I will continue with this show after this change. It’s just not interesting or engrossing anymore. I wish Stephen luck, of course. I’m sure he’s quite a guy but his storytelling isn’t for me.

I feel honored to be part of this journey and to witness true courage. What I cherish most is Danny and Darren’s life-long friendship. Loyalty and love provide the strength for healing! “We will see who shall prevails!”Spoiler alert: It’s Sandy. Thank you for the experience!

Had the potential to tell a great story. No one wants to hear you cry for extended periods of time. Could have nailed this.

Absolutely fantastic podcast. I often find that long form podcasts lose me - too drawn out, too muddied in unnecessary content when the story could’ve been told in half the episodes. But this podcast never lost my interest for a moment. I loved hearing from Danny, Darren, Sandy, the wives, everyone. But I do take some issue with Danny’s brother. While I appreciate that he loved Richard as he was, showed him great empathy, and could see his antics through a positive lens … he clearly has no insight or empathy for the great pain and frustration that basically every person in Richard’s path experienced. His perspective on Richard comes at the expense of empathy for every other person in this story.

A surprisingly entertaining story about an enduring friendship between Darren and Danny as Danny recalls how is weirdo dad managed to make all in his path miserable. The two friends recall and unravel stories of childhood trauma along with a host of relatives, neighbors and randos who all have endoured the rath of genius and massive a-hole, Mr. Jacobs. Danny uses the podcast as a therapeutic attempt to recover from childhood trauma with optimism and humor.

I’ve been struggling with this podcast. The subject matter is incredibly compelling, but the hosts need to just get on with telling the story. They seem too focused on the ‘work of the podcast’ – constantly commenting on whether something will ‘make the cut’ or discussing the podcast direction mid-episode. It feels like they’re too aware of themselves as hosts, like actors who are too conscious of being on stage rather than just being in the moment. I don’t want to hear them narrate their process – I want to hear the story. Let the story be the focus, not the behind-the-scenes commentary.

By me , this podcast is absolutely precious. I’m sorry you all had to go thru that. You and Darien are fabulous together. Hugs to your Mom ! Love you all!!!

This podcast was sooooooo good! I feel like I just finished a good book and I’m sad it’s over. Warning: the ending caused tears to stream down my face, fighting the ugly cry, digging for tissues in the glove box on my way into work. Just a truly great listen. ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story with such vulnerability. As a mom, I could feel Sandy’s pain and love for her son. And Darren is such a good friend! Also, I never listen to credits and I listened EVERY-TIME to Sandy. Excellent job!!

Yet here I am!!!!! The final episode…. The letter!!!!!! All the things I wish I had said. And Darren, everyone should have a friend like Darren.

This show captivated me from the moment I hit play. Danny and Darren’s playful dynamic, their ability to explore tough issues with sensitivity and humor, their creativity in presenting episode themes with a mix of acting out the scenarios, interviews and introspective conversations has been such an enlightening and entertaining experience. Danny and Sandy’s journeys have been so moving. The amount of pain they have overcome and the point of healing they’ve reached has been so inspiring. I laughed, I cried, I reflected, and I celebrated with them. This podcast has helped me so much on my journey forgiving a narcissistic person. I am forever grateful I happened to stumble upon this podcast.

It's a sacred privilege to have a window into the dynamics of this family. I feel honored. I pray God's healing blessings on all of them, and will add that the story is very well-told from a production point of view. ❤️ this is always the first podcast I listen to when there's a new episode.

the last episode had me in tears. what a masterclass in storytelling, honesty, and truth. thank you for being so brave, so thoughtful, and so committed to this. i feel so honored i got to hear this story. thank you, thank you, thank you. “you did the best you could.” - WOW.

Thank you so much for sharing your life story with everyone. It was touching, real, brave and heartwarming. Also, thoroughly enjoyable and so well done. Great job.

There is a lot to love about this podcast. The story is incredible and some of the breakthroughs between mother and son were truly touching. The storytelling, however, is a little corny. The sappy sentimental music that overlays some of the more traumatic events and tough conversations was distracting and made it hard to take seriously. It’s wonderful that Danny can open up so much and be vulnerable but it’s almost too self-aware, teetering dangerously close to disingenuous at times. Like when Daren poses a more “profound” question to Danny and Danny’s like “whoa! I never thought of it that way!” You can kind of hear the thoughts in their heads like “oh yeah, this is good. People are going to love this.” These guys are kind of annoying but, like, in an endearing way?

One of my favorite podcasts I have ever listened to. I just finished it, crying, feeling that this was a profound project of discovering and growth and healing and grief. Darren is an incredible guide and host. So good!!! Love everyone who shared their stories on this show. I wish them all so much love.

Mental illness is tough on any family. No way should it ruin lives but who can help ? Glad this podcast helped Danny , his mom and maybe his brother, & hoping it helps others in similar situations . It is sad his whole childhood was ruined by this horrible person. He also was able to ruin many other lives with his ridiculous lawsuits. I don’t know if forgiveness is the healer here. But maybe it will give the people involved some peace .

I love Danny’s honesty & vulnerability. Also love the banter between Danny and Darren, not to mention the reenactments… I have extremely enjoyed this podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

I have been listening to pods for years, and this is the first review I have ever been compelled to write. It is emotional, relatable and captivating. It is a must listen!

Gosh, I adore Sandy! She’s so sweet and funny! I’m from the St. Louis area and the way she speaks reminds me so much of my mom. I found myself feeling so proud and happy for her when her art was signed by Walt Disney as a kid and so happy that she was getting an opportunity to pursue her art as an adult and then so angry for her when Richard ruined it for her. So many people could hang on to that anger and let it ruin them but she continues on so positively.

If you had to take a shot every time you heard the word “journey” you’d have alcohol poisoning in short order. Seriously though, I have thoroughly enjoyed this podcast and I’m looking forward to Toughen Up with the Rabbi.

Interesting points and storyline, can we please stop overusing interregnum? It’s starting to drive me mad lol.

If you’ve got/had a toxic parent, listening to this is like getting a hug. Hearing Danny’s experiences helped me process some of my own feelings about my own father, who was also a toxic bastard. In fact, my father did a LOT of the same types of things as Danny’s father, so it was comforting to hear others having to go through the same situations. Unrelated: I don’t think they should have Danny’s mom and Danny’s wife on the podcast together because holy moly their voices were indistinguishable!! I could not tell the difference between the two!

I can’t stop listening to the crazy stories of Danny’s dad throughout the years. Danny can be tough to listen to sometimes, feels rehearsed

I don’t think I have ever written a review for a podcast, but after hearing the latest episode I felt compelled to share that Tom’s interview reaffirmed my faith in humanity. What a wonderful person. I wish I could give him a hug. Listening to his emotional intelligence and wisdom was a highlight of my day. We need more Toms in this world. The compassion he showed Danny brought a tear to my eye. The whole season is amazing, but this episode was a satisfying arrival point to the story. Also, SANDY!!! I love you, girl. Keep going, Queen.

As the son of a crazy narcissistic father myself, I love these stories about Richard Jacobs. Tbh, Richard seems much more likable than my dad. I hate to admit it but most of these stories crack me up, although I do recognize the pain that he caused. This is a great podcast!

If you have experience with a narcissist, you’ll enjoy this. A little dramatic at times, but I couldn’t stop listening.

Sandy is the hero of this story. She really had to navigate an unreal marriage. She prevailed and I love that she is proud of herself. The wives episode was great! Those ladies shared their stories with so much empathy and love for their hubbies. Your sister in law is so sweet and her story giggles made me giggle too. I do like hearing personal stories and this one is really interesting. Thank you for sharing 💕 Just listened to episode 15! 👍 Tom is a gem.

The details about Richard—the personal stories told by a variety of people who had unbelievable experiences with him—are incredible, and I’ve recommended the show to friends who have narcissists in their families. Loved this last episode with Tom, who did all the digging! The interminable, hand-wringing, personal therapy sessions with Danny, and Darren’s cheesy announcer schtick…those I could do without.

I’m not finished yet, but I’m hooked. If you are into true crime documentaries or mysteries definitely listen. I love the editing, realness, and flow of the story. Great job guys!

I am addicted to this show. In the episodes with the brother I find myself getting angry—not at the show but at this brother! I am screaming out loud when he defends their father. My take is that this brother *needs a father* and he will construct a forgivable one to satisfy this need. Why else would he be the only person to remain in his father’s life? I think birth order has an impact on familial relationships. This brother might be more impacted by a severed relationship as the first born child. Danny may be better adjusted without Richard and is able to write him off. There is pain but it’s his better option. This “shark is a shark” logic of the brother is too convenient and it’s flawed. If you can defend someone by saying it’s their nature to do it, let’s see the brother apply it to Charles Manson, the unibomber, Osama Bin Ladin, etc. I don’t mean to say Richard is a murderer but if you’re going to use narcissism to defend someone’s behavior, you gotta apply that same theory to anyone’s anti-social transgressions.

Updates review: I guess I need to restart this because I'm often confused about what's being spoken on in newer episodes? Like the wife's grandfather etc. I thought this was about the hosts father????? UPDATES REVIEW: Still 4 stars but if this is all we will ever have for months on months end, it’s definitely a let down. It’s on thing to wait every month for a new episode, it’s another thing to just keep giving updates on new episodes and then never getting them.

That Sandy and Danny are not broken by this story is just shocking. I don’t even know them but I am so proud of both of them for choosing to process this trauma. I just love the banter of the two hosts and I am so excited to here from Sandy! Well done Lady and Gents. If you haven’t done so yet, have a listen.

What a powerful deep dive into a person’s narcissistic and vindictive tendencies and how it affected his son (and his ex-wife). A sad story but it was great to see that RJ did not win in the end. A special shout-out to Sandy! She is an awesome individual who prevailed over bullying. You go girl!

Yes, the podcast is interesting. But beyond that, I don’t think Danny knows what a service he is providing to those of us raised by/touched by people with “cluster B“ personality disorders. I can’t imagine how difficult this podcast was for Danny….likely much more difficult than he expected. I hope he knows how affirming this tale has been for so many! Added: episode 14 was hard to hear. Danny’s legitimate experiences are dismissed far too easily. So upsetting.